I haven’t written because I feel a bit like I suck at life right now.  Do you ever have those times?

Like, people who are good at life make sure to keep in touch with their friends, getting at least a text in there somehow.

People who are good at life don’t fall so far behind on their work projects so that they become useless to their family, glued to their computer.

People who are good at life put their baby in clothes at some point when the clock still says a.m. and certainly don’t just leave them in a diaper all day for 4 days straight. (Not one diaper–fresh diapers as needed. Just to be clear.)

People who are good at life reach out to potential new friends to ask how they are and when you can get together, so that those new people don’t just drift away into could-maybe-have-been friends but instead become real friends.

People who are good at life don’t bail on not one, but two events in a weekend where they could have celebrated with someone (Paul and Christine, I am so sorry.)

In college, I learned to be a lifeguard.  I took the class for P.E. credit because I wanted to work the summer at a camp I loved, and knew that skill would be helpful.  We learned different ways to jump into the water and how to swim without losing sight of a person ahead.  And we learned how a swimmer in distress goes from parallel to perpendicular in the water, toes down, face towards the sky, everything underwater but their mouth.

In the last six months, I have felt like I am just staying afloat.  Not on my back, basking in the sun, but perpendicular,  immersed, getting the air I need but nothing more.

Our family sometimes names certain events or seasons.  Curtis’ and my first fight was The Great Coffee War, for instance.  We have been calling this the Perfect Storm, so many stressors in such a small window.

So here’s what I’m wondering–how do you start swimming again?

10 thoughts on “Swimming

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  3. Remembering this is just a season helps…. It is ok to just tread water at times so you don’t go under the water and feel like you are drowning. Treading saves your energy and helps keep you afloat. There will be many days of fun ahead and different seasons of life all with different challenges. For now relax in the season you are in, breathe deeply and keep in prayer . I know…easier said than done. It can be exhausting and so fun too all at the same time. Remember to journal and keep putting those thoughts down because I know there is a book in here.
    Belinda Carter

  4. Dear Meredith, I don’t have the answer for your question about how to start swimming again.  All I can tell you is that when I find myself in this time of life, and it will happen over and over again, I just keep going, one foot in front of the other, and after a while I am able to look back and see that I wasn’t just treading water, that I was making progress.  I also believe this is a spiritual battle Satan puts in front of us to trip us up and he begins to whisper in our ear that we are not worthy.  Keeping a focus on Jesus, knowing He is holding us up – even when we feel like we are barely able to breathe – and remembering His promises in who we are in Him has helped me get through some pretty ugly times. My prayer for you is that you will soon realize you are swimming, it just looks and feels differently in this season of your life,  and that you continue to feel God’s peace inspite of what the world and circumstances throw at you.  God Bless you and Thank you for sharing such heart-felt emotions and places we all find ourselves in and don’t want to talk about it… Love to you, Lucia


  5. Your comment about seasons reminded me about a series your dad did in late 2011, early 2012 on seasons of the soul. Not sure about the name of the book he did the series on.

  6. I love this honesty. If more of us told stories like this, fewer of us would be perpendicular in the water, or at least we wouldn’t feel so alone in it. I don’t know how to give tips about swimming again, but I’ve been where you are and found my way again. I know you can do it, too.

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